People managers
How do I run a useful one-to-one with a team member?
A one-to-one is useful when the person leaves it feeling clearer, more capable, or more supported than when they arrived. Most don’t clear that bar. They become status updates — the manager asking what’s in progress, the team member reporting back. That’s project management, not people management. A genuinely useful one-on-one is about the person, not the work.
Framework: Brian Hartzer’s Leadership Star · Practices: Care, Clarity
Start with them, not the task list
Open with something that’s about the person. “How are you going?” is fine if you mean it. “How are you finding the new project?” works. The goal is to establish that this time is about them — their development, their experience, their challenges — the work is secondary in this hour. Most people spend the bulk of their working week focused outward. The one-on-one is where they get the chance to focus inward, with someone who can help.
Ask about obstacles, not just progress
“What’s getting in your way?” is one of the most useful questions a manager can ask, and it’s asked far less often than “how’s it going?” The second question invites a status update. The first one invites honesty about friction. Then your job is to actually go and address whatever they raise. Acknowledging and moving on is not the same thing.
Make development a regular topic, not an annual event
Career development conversations shouldn’t only happen at performance review time. In a regular one-on-one, it might be one question: “What are you trying to get better at?” or “Is there a skill you’re working on that I could help with?” Small and regular beats substantial and annual.
Keep notes and follow up
The fastest way to demonstrate you take one-on-ones seriously is to remember what was said last time and reference it. “Last week you mentioned the timeline pressure — how’s that looking now?” That kind of continuity signals genuine attention.
Where judgment matters
Frequency and length should match the person and the moment. A new team member probably needs weekly contact. A confident senior person might prefer fortnightly with longer sessions. Adjust to the individual.
In your last one-on-one, what proportion of the conversation was about the person’s development versus the status of their current work?
Start with the book
The Leadership Star sets out all five practices in full, with the reasoning behind each one.